Your mission, Jim ... is to carry out an influence circle audit

This article was first published on Substack 8 November 2026

by Mervin Straughan

‘Your mission, Jim, should you choose to accept it …’

That’s the line that endures from the old but masterful TV series Mission: Impossible. And, I imagine, from the more recent blockbuster Tom Cruise films of the same name though I haven’t seen them.

Over 171 episodes, a small team of covert government agents battled corrupt business people, crime lords, and dictators. It mesmerised us with audacity and technological trickery. Each mission’s success hinged on team members trusting one another and having confidence in their own abilities.

Thankfully, most of us don’t have to topple dictators, but we do have missions of our own that are important for achieving fulfilment and wellbeing. One mission in particular requires those same qualities of confidence and trust because it asks us to examine who may be helping our progress and who may be quietly holding us back.

We don't want blind devotion. We want constructive belief and support.

When we discuss our intentions, our hopes and our fears with others, we want constructive challenge and moral support. We don’t need blind devotion, but nor do we need their fears and limiting beliefs projected onto us. How many dreams have never been realised not because they were unrealistic, but because they were crushed by negativity?

There’s a statement often attributed to the late great public speaker Jim Rohn: ‘You’re the average of the five people with whom you spend most time.’

Whether or not the number really is five is debatable, but psychological theory tells us a great deal about the influence of others.

Recognising the impact on us

If Rohn’s observation rings true, then, it might be a good idea to carry out an influence audit of those whose company we keep personally and professionally. It’s useful to recognise the impact they have on our goals, growth, and wellbeing.

The aim is to gauge how supportive these relationships are. Which ones do we cultivate and which might require boundaries or distance?

This might resonate with the new starter at work or on a sports team as they decide who to seek help from. Or, with a teenager revising for their exams.

It might also resonate with organisational leaders who find a shrinking pool of peers as they reach their organisation’s pinnacle. It’s a mistaken belief that they have all the answers and, therefore, don’t need others for challenge, insight and support.

Certain aspects of life can demand confidence and determination. Even so, it’s a challenge to remain permanently topped up with motivation. There are times when even the most determined of us can find ourselves close to running on empty.

Watching those around us

This influence network claim isn’t just motivational rhetoric. Psychologist Albert Bandura’s (1977) Social Learning Theory explains that we learn through observation. We develop attitudes, behaviours, and beliefs by watching those around us. If we spend a lot of time with people, we’ll pick up on what they say and do.

While it doesn’t specify a number, perhaps the strongest support for the five people idea comes from Leon Festinger’s 1954 Social Comparison Theory. It suggests that we measure ourselves by comparing ourselves with others, particularly those we regard as similar. This can influence our ambitions and aspirations, our confidence, expectations, and self-image. We perceive these people as similar, so they become our reference point for what we see as achievable, desirable, and normal.

Social networks are also powerful, according to research by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler (2012). They explored subjects including happiness, smoking, and other behavioural patterns. Their work suggests that attitudes and habits can spread through social networks, a phenomenon known as social contagion. They also proposed the three degrees of influence idea, which suggests that behaviours might not only affect us as individuals but also our friends and our friends’ friends.

Professional sounding board

It might be that the five people we spend most time with discussing work are from family and friendship circles. This can be invaluable in terms of moral support, but may lack the organisational sounding board needed for workplace decision-making.

In view of this, it’s a good idea to build a network of objective listeners. One might be a mentor.

Some business leaders include a life coach. Their role is not to act as a mentor but as a facilitator. They bring a non-directive approach and a process to gain clarity about a current situation and to generate solutions for reaching a different position on a range of issues.

No matter how strong we are, most of us need people around us.

Although, ultimately, we take responsibility for our actions, we can make more informed decisions if we gauge the perspectives of our five close connections who have our best interests at heart.

While we’re not able to choose every influence on our lives, we can decide which views and voices deserve our attention. For many people, that makes the influence audit a mission worth accepting.