Reframing shapes how we feel about events: a lesson from the Stoics

This article was first published on Substack. 

By Mervin Straughan

The Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus said that we aren’t disturbed by events but by the interpretations we attach to them.

In other words, the thought path we follow will determine the emotional weight we carry in response to an event. 

This is a building block of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) with an emphasis on the interplay between thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and physical sensations.

Here, we find a transformative idea. To focus on what we can control such as thoughts, actions, and reactions. We acknowledge – but don’t cling to – matters beyond our control such as external circumstances including the actions of others and outcomes that can’t be predicted.

Let’s take as an example two employees and a workplace restructure that involves redundancies. Employee One might enter a spiral of anxiety, fearing loss and uncertainty. Employee Two might eventually view the news as a prompt to seek out new opportunities, possibly breathing life into plans put on hold for years, or the taking a new, fulfilling path.

There’s no doubt that this massive shift can challenge us. It’s about using a powerful tool across aspects of our lives.

It requires us to seek out realistic perspectives (not blind positivity).

For instance, imagine we wave at someone across the road but there’s no response. Some wavers might start to believe: ‘They’re ignoring me’, or ‘I must have offended or upset them recently’ and the self-doubt and feelings of rejection creep in.

We can ease this emotional discomfort and regain equilibrium by reframing our thoughts with ones that encourage more realistic appraisals such as ‘Perhaps they didn’t see me’ or ‘They must have a lot on their mind.' 

My mind-reading skills have always been rusty which means I've often been wrong in believing what people have been thinking.

CBT encourages us to explore our thoughts and recognise how distorted patterns such as all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophising, or personalising, can distress us and turn into unhelpful behaviours. Reframing our thoughts helps us to replace them with more balanced and evidence-based thoughts.

This reshapes our feelings so that we’re more composed and resilient, and better equipped to deal with the complexities of life.

October 2026