Life coaching, mentoring and counselling are different skill sets
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| Life coaches help clients unlock their potential. |
March 2020
There are misconceptions about the role of a life coach. Potential clients sometimes report that they “need a mentor” or “someone to advise where I’m going wrong.” Some even confuse life coaching with the role of counselling. This should be avoided.
The labels "mentor," "life coach" and "counsellor" aren't interchangeable. There are major differences in the roles.
THE LIFE COACH
The life coach focuses on human potential and possibilities. For this reason, their language is framed positively. The sessions will take into account the client's achievements and milestones to date. This is a good foundation on which to build because it reminds the client they're capable of further successes and, therefore, likely to be able to bring about the change they're seeking.
A life coach will, in almost all cases, refrain from telling someone what to do. The client owns the solutions, identifies the desired outcome and makes it a reality. The life coach simply facilitates the process.
The discussions will most likely explore aspects of both the client's personal and professional lives. This is because they're closely connected. A change in one is likely to have an impact in the other.
The programme of life coaching sessions will last for a limited time as the aim is for clients to pick up the baton and run with it themselves. It also prevents a co-dependent relationship developing.
MENTOR
A mentor will usually be from the same or a similar profession or industry. Their expertise and knowledge mean they're well placed to provide advice and insight about what works and what doesn't. They've experienced the successes and learnt the big lessons.
The focus is usually on career and the mentor's role is more directive. The career guidance aspect of this means the mentoring relationship might last a long time.
COUNSELLOR
A counsellor helps an individual address an issue that is causing dysfunction such as a traumatic event. The discussion will be about past events with the aim of understanding their impact on current emotions and behaviours. The counsellor will work with the client to come to terms with the current situation. A life coach will not attempt to help an individual who is suffering from a traumatic episode unless they're also a counsellor. Crossing the divide without the appropriate expertise could be hugely damaging.
The skills and expertise in each of these areas differ greatly so it's important both client and coach are clear from the outset to avoid confusion.
THE RISE OF LIFE COACHING
Life coaching is a growth area and there's a burgeoning number of books to prove the point. New titles on the subject are regularly added to the personal growth and smart thinking sections of physical and online bookshops.
It's natural, as Maslow pointed out, to progress through the hierarchy of needs in pursuit of esteem and self actualisation so any good self-coaching literature to help us on our journey is welcome.
However, some people prefer the intervention of a life coach to a book. We live and work in times of immense uncertainty and, depending on our mindset, this brings either opportunity or apprehension, so we might want someone there in the moment with a process to help us move from one point to another.
Many employers choose to invest in coaching – internally-grown or external – because they want engaged colleagues who are working to their potential. An engaged workforce is a productive workforce. While cynics might scoff, there are organisations in both private and not-for-profit sectors that are making genuine strides to create workplaces where people flourish.
Some individuals seek out a life coach for positive reasons: their careers have served them well and they've arrived at a good point where they're now keen to explore new directions and opportunities.
This isn't always the case.
There are times when young people have opted for careers recommended by their parents – after studying degrees or other qualifications recommended by their parents – or because they seemed like a safe bet at the time even when the labour market was buoyant and there were plenty roles to go around. At some point down the road, they feel discomfort and stress.
Many life coaches can give examples of clients who lack fulfilment because they've opted for roles that fail to make the most of their skills and talents, their passion and their purpose. The good news, however, is that those same coaches will report that when the lightbulb goes on, their clients know what to do. This might involve re-framing how they see their current role or taking steps towards something different.
Life isn't a rehearsal so it makes sense to get all the help we can.
- Check out Mervin's pocket-sized self-coaching book Imagine Life As Three Bus Journeys. Printed by Lightning Source, it's available for £9.99 in the UK and $11.99 in the US. Retailers include Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com.